Emotional Eating

I'm a closet emotional and binge eater. I hide it very well. My bus stop on the way home from work stops right by a gas station. I've wandered in for some candy or chocolate countless times. I'm careful to have it finished before I round the block to my home - just in case anyone would see.

I hide small treats in my purse only to pull them out when I am in the house alone, or after the kids are in bed. While my hottie husband is rock climbing I am sitting on my duff stuffing my face. I even walk the wrapper to the outside trash just in case he'd notice it in our kitchen receptacle.

There are countless occasions that I'll have eaten my first sweet so quickly that I hardly remember it and clearly wasn't satisfied from it. So I'll have another. Who cares if this is my second bowl of ice cream?? There are no witnesses and the cat isn't going to tell on me.

This past year I've really made an effort to stop my evening binging. I'm pleased to say that I've stopped. It's been months since I've stopped at the gas station or pigged out on my sofa. But for every habit that is broken something takes it's place right? Really all I've done is move my cravings from the evening into the afternoon. That damn Wendy's isn't helping either. Nor are the new vending machines. It's all too easy. I've made a lot of effort to get this type of binge eating under control. I know I'm not AS out of control as I was during the evenings because I can't take *another* break just to get seconds. And besides, I'm not alone. People might see that I continue to stuff my face.

Yesterday morning we learned of Zach's cousin's death. It's been all over the news, perhaps you've heard or read about it. Tyler Heilman. Honestly I didn't know him well at all, maybe met him a small handful of times but it's still shocking when it hits so close to home. This morning I've learned of another death. Same situation, I've not known this person however it deeply affects others close to me and is plain tragic. And I can't help but think about these deaths over and over again. It makes my emotions reel almost out of control. I instinctively reach for something to eat. It feels like I *need* that Frosty or I'll go in autopilot to the pit stop at Holiday on my way home.

I've been working so hard to get the binge under control and now I feel myself slipping. How do I maintain a grasp?